We are back with Part 2 of How To Build Confidence. If you just finished reading Part 1, welcome back. If you haven't read Part 1, click here to start. But first, small story time.
This photo above is from a commercial shoot that I originally felt like I had no business being in. They contacted me through Instagram finding my email. It felt like a scam. I thought,
"why would they choose me"
"I'm still growing and working"
"I'm not an Olympian"
I thought, why not try! I emailed back, the commercial was real, I flew to New York for the first time, checked myself into the hotel and was picked up the next day for the shoot. People addressed me with so much respect, valued my time, provided food and I felt important. Why couldn't I see this for myself, that I had value? This experience created a huge boost to my confidence to do something way out of my comfort zone even if it was scary or felt unreal. So...
8. Do Something Scary: And Do It Often
The opposite of confidence is fear. Fear is often like an ocean. It looks expansive and a place where you will drown, but it's also often only an inch deep. Pick something that scares you every so often (could be one a month to start) and do it.
Maybe it freaks you out to post yourself online. Post one time. Acknowledge how you feel before you post, sweat, calm yourself down and post. Then see how you feel afterwards.
No matter what you pick, you will most likely feel anxiety and pain before and then after you'll realize how shallow this ocean of fear really is.
9. Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge Your Progress
Celebration can feel like it's only reserved for when you hit that big goal, but it's not. Take time to celebrate your victories, especially that seemingly small ones. Recognize and appreciate your progress. If you went to a meet and missed jumping into the pit three times, but you hit the board perfectly each time, that is time to celebrate and build off of.
Each small win that is celebrated reinforces the belief that you are on the right track. Small wins accumulate into a reservoir of confidence.
10. Stay Present: Focus on the Now
Anxiety often arises from worrying about the future and guilt comes from regretting things from the past. Both of those kill confidence.
Instead, stay present by focusing on the task at hand. If you are enjoying time at the beach, be at the beach. When you are training, be present fully and train. Don't think about the project that is due at midnight. But when practice is over, be present and do your project.
When you are fully present with what you are working on instead of doing mental olympics 24/7, your confidence can grow knowing that you are fully present in each environment you go into.
11. Stop Judging Others: It's All A Mirror
Judging others is a learned behavior and usually reflects something within. If you are consistently judging other people, you are more than likely also judging yourself. When you hear yourself judging others out loud or in your mind, stop and think about the circumstances of that individual that you might not see.
Over time this will help the voice in your head that is always judging you. And in turn, will help grow your confidence.
12. Trust In Yourself When Things Go Wrong
A major reason for laking confidence is the absence of trust within. Maybe it feels scary to go into a situation because you don't actually trust that you will know what to do when things go wrong.
Trusting that you will do the best thing you can for yourself is a major confidence builder. You are living this life for you. Not anyone else. So begin to create space and love for one of the greatest relationships you will ever have. The one with yourself.
If you've ever been in a hard situation, and couldn't stand up for yourself but if someone else was in that situation you would stand up for them, you can understand this. You are worthy of standing up for. Stand up for yourself, your values, your goals and chose to respect your own boundaries.
13. Love On Yourself
When you start treating yourself like someone you love your confidence will grow. Start by taking better physical care of yourself.
This can be as simple of complex as you want. You can do something simple like getting your hair done, or create space for yourself where you have a routine to take care of your body. It could be a bed time facial washing routine, a morning stretch, or even 5 minutes to massage your body when it feels tight. It is literally anything that you do for yourself because you are worth it.
Make time to take care of yourself and you will start to feel more confident.
14. Seek Professional Guidance: Invest in Your Growth
Consider working with a therapist, sports psychologist or mental health coach. These professionals specialize in developing mental skills, including confidence-building techniques tailored to your unique needs. You can do a quick google search in your area to try and find someone that works with your needs.
Starting Points To Look Up:
Mental Performance Coaching
In Person Therapy
If working with a professional is currently out of your budget, start by reading some books around the area, listening to podcasts and videos and testing what works best for you.
Embrace the journey, learn from setbacks, and celebrate victories — each step contributes to the unshakeable confidence that defines a true champion. Believe in yourself, and the world will believe in you too. And just remember, confidence is cultivated. You can do this.
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